My Money Blueprint – Insights About Attracting Money and Abundance, Part II

In Colette’s book money was the central topic. So I started to analyze my values including my experiences, especially with the focus on money.

Yes. I could see it very clearly. Money was never really an issue for me. Why? I didn’t care for money so much. There were times when I experienced a lack of money. And there were times when I experienced a pretty decent money flow.

I knew that I need to work hard for money and I also knew that money, a lot of it, will once come to me when the right time is there. (Click here if you missed the first part.)

Do you agree on such a strategy for attracting money into your life?

I hope not!!

I discovered that my main, leading value throughout my entire life was the Uncertainty. Moreover, with the Uncertainty, I automatically received the Variety.

Indeed, my life was filled up with countless changes for almost my entire lifetime. Sometimes the changes came so massively all over me that I was overwhelmed.

I remember saying to myself that Uncertainty is the only certain thing in my life. It was constant and persistent. I saw my life as a school of life where you learn, play and experience certain adventures from them you derive teachings and insights. And whatever the adventure was, I knew, “somehow everything is going to be OK.”

I will come back to the money blueprint. Let us first go over my values and see how they shaped my life and how they influenced the money flow in my life.

 

Why Did I Choose Uncertainty?

I was born in a family that wasn’t really poor in my opinion but the step to being poor wasn’t that big. I don’t have many clear memories about my childhood for I survived it as a kid being in constant stress and fear.

The only moment I recall not being anxious was the moment of falling asleep. Yes, you understood correctly! The short moment of entering the state of sleep was the only moment when I didn’t fear anything.

 

When I read Colette’s story I thought, it could be mine. Both of my parents were alcoholics. I remember my mother being drunk already when she woke me up to the school close to seven o’clock in the morning. I immediately smelt the odor of alcohol and I was disgusted and afraid. What will happen today? How will she be?

My father – it seemed to me – was a better parent than my mother was. He didn’t really take care of my brother and me. Moreover, he wasn’t really interested in doing anything with us. Nevertheless, he was a calmer one and his moods were more constant and predictable. I thought I could somehow rely on him.

What I didn’t know was, that my opinion as a child wasn’t true. He was not only an alcoholic. He was also an autistic person and poor in reading feelings and in expressing his own emotions. I learned about it many years later from my younger sister. However, at that time, I kept it for the truth. My father was a good one.

 

Love vs Growth

After you have learned a little bit about me, you may not wonder that my second leading value or more precisely, my two second-values were Love and Connection, and Personal Growth. They were often in conflict with each other, it doesn’t matter how hard I tried to reconcile them.

I knew the feelings can fool you, especially because when as a child I asked one of my parents what’s wrong with the other one, they always answered that all was completely fine only I would have misunderstood something.

Of course, I didn’t trust my feelings. How had this manifested in my life? First off, I never felt in love until my late twenties. As well, I rather avoided being involved in a friendship too deeply. I enjoyed to be solitary, do whatever I wanted to do, come and go when I wanted to without worrying about the needs of others. I was autonomous. I felt autarkic. I didn’t need anybody. Yes, you heard right, NOBODY. Especially men adored me for that, and they were attracted to me – I think – because of this my specific attitude.

 

I loved animals and I was a very reliable friend. But my love affairs stayed at a superficies level and I was always ready to leave.
This was obvious especially in my relationships where after many trials to get the reluctant needs in alignment with each other my choice was always for the self-growth and myself. So I left many times after waiting way too long for collaboration on the boyfriend’s side to improve the relationship.

You will be surprised but I never desired Certainty. Why? Because I always possessed the Certainly. Always! I felt God in me and the feeling was always strong. I knew I would always get help from God. But first off, I needed to try everything to help myself. I knew, when all I tried failed, God will always be there for me and help. So, I never watched out for certainty. And I seldom asked God for help. I was a fighter. There were only a few situations in the past that I needed help and asked for help or help has been offered to me. I was a real fighter and managed things on my own.

I hope you became even more curious! Did you? I hope so! I also hope you enjoyed the second piece of my process! Click here to continue reading. Please, let me know what you think about it. And maybe you like to try this process too? Please, let me know!

In every case, please take a couple of minutes and give me feedback on what do you think right now, and if you already have some interesting finding regarding your own manifestation process!

If you have any questions, please, write them down and send them also! I would love to support you on your way!

Sending much Love and Light to you!
Aloha, Jenna

 

 

 

 

Live up to you!