The road should be actually safe for pets for it is a dead-end that leads up to the end of our subdivision. However, many drivers don’t respect the speed limit of 25 mph and use the road like it would be a highway, speeding over 50 mph.
Therefore, every time Buddy showed up at our place we needed to watch Nani and train her not to follow him. We did different things to avoid she would pass the road. But one afternoon it eventually happened, all three of our kittens crossed the road and my heart almost stopped when I saw them playing just behind the side shoulder.
I could catch Lani and Honda easily but Nani vanished in the bushes and I finally gave up waiting on her to come back and returned to our place.
I was so mad at her! So mad. I did not say or did anything but probably she could sense it for she did not come home to eat that night. However, I could see her eyes reflecting the light of my headlamp while I was looking for her and calling her.
Next morning she was there, as usual, looking at me and investigating if I still was angry with her. I was. Very unusual for me to keep the emotion anger in my inner for three days. But I did. For some reason, I could not get rid of it even though I tried hard to rinse it off and be good again. Looking back, I think that I anticipated and felt in my belly that the crossing would mean the point of no return.
The cats provided us with a lot of entertainment. Especially Nani was very inventive! She loved the hiding game and so did Lani. Lani also tried to come closer to Nani and be more intimate but Nani rejected it.
She was completely independent. She played for how long she liked and then vanished leaving Lani waiting on her next jump. After Honda got better he joined those games and became strong and fast.
I can tell you, Nani was the recovery trainer for both of the cats which were sick for a very long time. We learned from our veterinary that Honda that looked like a kitten of maybe ten weeks at that time, was about six, maybe even up to eight months old boy. We speculated that Lani was his sister. All three cats wolfed down an amazing amount of food and Nani kept everybody in shape.
As independent Nani was, she always came to me when I called her. She literally ran towards me, joyful, so fast. She did not like to be picked up and held. But sometimes she came to me rubbing her body at my legs. This was always very special to me.
Months passed by and Nani returned from her adventures every day. I asked Hiiaka for protection for she is the Goddess of all Living Creatures, and meditate with Reiki to keep our kittens safe. I paid attention to keep my thoughts and emotions clean from fear Nani could get run over on the road.
Nani was challenging me a lot. The first few months it was hard to touch or play with her for her claws were sharp like razors and she loved to use them. I learned to keep a healthy distance, respect Nani how she was. No. She wasn’t a lap cat you would cuddle and pet. She always stayed the wild cougar.
Then one Sunday in June, June 9th to be precise, we were at the Maku’U Farmers Marked when my husband showed me a post coming in at the closed group of our subdivision. “A slightly colored Siamese cat was killed by a truck. The hit was hard.”
Sundays we were vendors at the market, selling off inventory of our bike rental business and worked between 7 am till 2 pm. The notification came around 10 am. My heart stopped to beat for a moment and also my husband felt very bad about the message. But any of us said anything and we kept fingers crossed that our cats are safe home. I visualized coming home and become greeted by all of them.
After finishing at the market, we drove back in silence. My heart started to pound faster just before we turned in our street. … and there she was. Our beautiful Nani laying dead on the side of the road.
I left the truck before Jeff has parked it and walked over to her slowly. I saw her little snowshoes and tears have shot out of my eyes. The feeling of pain was overwhelming. I could not protect her.
I was standing there not knowing what to do. I would have loved to turn the time back and do things better! More wisely. But it was too late. For months I lived pretty close to this happening but at this very moment, I barely could believe that this happened already.
I picked up her already stiff body and pressing it at mine walked over to our place.
We gave Honda and Lani enough room to say goodbye. I was so overwhelmed by the sadness that I was not able yet to make a decision about what to do, where to bury my little Nani. I petted her dead body, in the way I never could when she was alive. Finally, I picked the spot where we could bury her. I planted a beautiful hibiscus on her little grave called a Cosmic Dancer. Its flowers are amazing – they are deep magenta when the bud opens and turn orange and yellow as the day progress – but they last only for one day, so you really need to watch them coming and adore their beauty just in time.
Nani is gone but she left many traces all over our lot and especially in my soul and my memories. She was a good teacher. She taught me to love her exactly how she was, unconditionally. She taught my husband being patient with her and work on his own anger. Both of them carry or carried lots of ager in their soul. She was a great companion for our other kittens and a very good trainer for them. She was so beautiful that I could not get enough of watching her grace.
At the next morning, I woke up and knew that I need to, eventually, start the book I was caring in my heart for a few months. Of course, the book would be about cats and with cats as heroes. I got very sad thinking that she did not have to die for me to write this book.
The most special gift, Nani left with me, was the certainty that also animals are energy and light beings and travel through the time. Just after we buried Nani, a customer came over to buy a bike. She brought a friend with her, another lady and a beautiful soul. My husband had to tell them about Nani for we just buried Nani and they could see it in his face.
I also came over to join, even though I didn’t want to for I felt hurt and sad.
I asked the lady – of whom I don’t know the name – “I know we humans are eternal, but what about the animals? Do you know it?”
“Yes”, she said. “They are coming back too. If they want. They are much older than us.”
And she told me to think about Nani as a beautiful fairy who came to us in the body of a cat to teach us and to help. She left, for her job is done.
The lady herself lost everything in the lava flow in Kapoho in 2018. This encountering was very healing.
What she said comforted me so much, so much! And I liked to believe it even though I did not know it in my inner yet. I also did not know any reason why it shouldn’t be this way. Why all those living beings including plants shouldn’t be eternal. Of course, they are.
I posted a blog about Nani’s death at Wealthy Affiliate platform – a platform where I learn to build an online business and work on my websites – to let my friends know and ask them what they think about passing away animals. So many answered and comforted me! And now I have the certainty. Animals are eternal and can come back.
Here one of the comments I got from my friend Taetske:
“Good Morning Jenna,
I was all happy and wrapped up with my own WA post answering the nice comments and then I came across your sad news.
I started crying my eyes out as immediately remembered dear Cindy who left 1 year ago to be followed, a few months later, by old Missu.
All of Creation comes from the same source and will go back there.
I am sure that when my time comes I will be greeted by heaps of happy animals I shared part of my life with and you will too.
With a big Hug, Taetske”
I hope you enjoyed this part of my blog. More articles will follow sharing with you our wonderful life with our loving cats, and about what they are teaching me. Please, come back and enjoy!
Sending much Love and Light your way!