What Makes You Feel Good?
What do you think what are the main reasons why many people cannot enjoy their life in full?
I mean “average normal” people with their “average normal” lives, like Mary, the example in the first part of these series, who has chosen depressive moods to retreat from the stress of her life? What do they achieve when they become depressed? Do they gain anything good for themselves? What do you think?
And what do you think why you don’t enjoy your life fully and completely every single moment of it?
Take a moment, please and write down your answers.
Being Aware of a Moment
Seen from my personal and professional experiences as a coach and trainer — and I like to demonstrate this topic as simple as possible — a person’s ability to enjoy her life reduces with a decreasing influence in her life. This was also the same in Mary’s case. Trying to help and to please everyone around her, she did not gain influence in her life. Actually, the opposite happened. She reduced it.
How do you lose influence in your life?
- By getting “used” to it.
- By approaching it rather as a duty and obligation than a magic of creation.
- By creating and experiencing lots of stress, both types: Eustress and Distress
- By often getting upset when things do not turn out like you would like them turning out.
- By working long hours every day or very often, thus you become tired and exhaust on the regular basis.
- And, by taking your life for granted.
You feel obliged showing up for work every morning. You feel obliged taking care for your family. You feel obliged to fulfill the expectations of your family, your company, your society.
Often, people wake up in the morning mad at the alarm clock waking them up. They follow up with their kitchen-bathroom-kitchen-closet routine barely noticing what and how they are doing it.
When they are dressed and ready to go, they leave in hurry and rush to their office or workplace/appointment or date, and the only positive emotion they are maybe feeling, is, being glad have made just in time. Do you recognize any of these situations?
The same may apply to how they approach their family and friends. They may experience their spouse or partner and their children as well as their friends, business partners, colleagues or boss more as a challenge than a gift!
Because, they are not there in the moment in the heart. Their thinking reaches out to the past evaluating results former actions, or it dwells in the future worrying about actions not done, yet.
In holidays, they used to go to the most beautiful places on this planet. But instead of being thankful having the opportunity to visit such awesome places, they tend to complain about the cost of the journey, the length of the flight, accommodation, food, local culture or customs, and many other things which they experience rather as “unpleasant” than a present gifted to them on their life journey.
The point I’m addressing here is not, not having any critical points and issues, or taking everything as it comes your way and being good with it, maybe even covering your negative emotions with pseudo positive thinking. This is similar to what Mary was experiencing, too.
My point is to slow down our activities and to recognize the magic of every single moment we experience in this world. All these numerous gifts we receive every day without noticing them??
Only staying in the present moment – as often as possible, and acknowledging its uniqueness, we are capable to really witness the moment and being consciously thankful for it. There are tons of such moments every day.
How can you detect these moments and change the patterns of hurrying through your day accomplishing as much as possible? By focusing on them and being aware of the surrounding beauty!!!
Let us start being thankful!
For What Are You Grateful Right Now?
Exercise: Please, reserve minimum 15 min for this exercise. Make sure you won’t be disturbed or distracted during the process (turn off you phones, TV or radio and computer).
Find a good place where you can be at peace. Have a pen and piece of paper ready.
Sit down in a comfortable position. Relax for few minutes breathing consciously in and out. Feel the magic as the air is filling your lungs. Take your time.
Now focus your attention at the top of your head. While you inhale, imagine that you are able to inhale through the top of your head, direct the fresh air from the top of your head into your entire body filling it up with energy and light.
Feel how the light and fresh energy is soaking up by your body, every single cell is bathing in it, refreshing. Then exhale through the soles of your feet, while you’re imagining the air you have used to breathe is going out through your soles grayish and dark like a smoke or dark cloud.
Imagine the smoke or cloud entering the ground and become transformed into fresh energy and light by the power of Earth. Inhale and exhale five times in this way. Then relax for a moment.
Take the pen and the paper and write down for what are you grateful right now?
Take your time.
You may be grateful for many things. But you maybe also be grateful for all the parts of your body and organs, which enable you to suck in the life-giving air into your nose, your bronchial system, your lungs.
For how long would you stay alive if you had lost the ability to breathe? After already two minutes without oxygen you’ll become unconscious. Your brain can develop serious damage after already four minutes without oxygen. After five or six minutes, you would say ‘Goodbye’ to this world.
How precious appears your breathing to you now?
Please, focus now at your past activities today – even though if you woke up shortly before this exercise.
For what are you grateful right now?
Take your time.
Please, think now about a person who loves you. Recall a beautiful moment with that person. Create this moment in your memory as detailed as possible. How does feel for you?
Take your time.
How many people gave you a hand today or yesterday? Please, recall all these tiny moments of kindness you experienced.
Take your time.
Now think about you, please. What are you doing, thinking or feeling what makes you feel good or happy? Write it down.
Take your time.
After you finished to collecting your gems of gratitude, please place them into your heart using the palm of your hand placing it on your chest, and breathe consciously and deeply three times. Good job!
How do you feel right now?
I hope you enjoyed your journey!
Please, join me to the next part of the process.
Until then be well!